What is safe sex and what isn’t
There are all kinds of ways to have sex. But which ways put you at risk of STIs? And what about the chances of getting pregnant? For answers to these questions, read on.
Massaging, caressing
What are you doing?
Caressing and massaging each other (all over your bodies) with your hands, with or without massage oil.
- Safe for HIV
- Usually safe for other STIs
- Safe for pregnancy
If you touch your own penis or vagina first and then someone else’s vagina there is a small risk to spread STIs.
Do you have sex after massaging each other? Make sure the condom doesn’t come into contact with the massage oil. Oil can make the condom tear.
Kissing, tonguing
What are you doing?
Using your mouth and tongue to touch each other’s tongue, lips, and mouth.
- Safe for HIV
- Safe for other STIs
(If you or your partner have an STI in your mouth, there is a small risk of getting gonorrhea, syphilis, thrush, and hepatitis B.) - Safe for pregnancy
Masturbating, fingering, jerking off
What are you doing?
Massaging the penis or clitoris and helping yourself or your partner to have an orgasm.
- Usually safe for HIV
- Usually safe for STIs
- Usually safe for pregnancy
Small risk of HIV other STIs and pregnancy if semen, menstrual blood or mucus from the vagina or anus is transferred by one person’s fingers to the other person’s mucous membrane (lining of the body). With close body contact there is a chance of passing on scabies or pubic lice.
Body rubbing, dry humping
What are you doing?
Rubbing your bodies against each other for sexual pleasure. With or without clothes on.
- Safe for HIV
- Safe for other STIs
(There is a risk of scabies and pubic lice if you’re not wearing clothes.) - Safe for pregnancy
Contact between vagina and penis (without penetration)
What are you doing?
Your genitals are rubbing against each other or are very close to each other.
- Safe for HIV
(unless pre-cum or semen enters the vagina) - Unsafe for STIs!
Risk of hepatitis B, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes, and scabies. - Safe for pregnancy
(unless pre-cum or semen enters the vagina)
Contact between vagina and vagina
What are you doing?
Rubbing your vaginas against each other or your vaginas are very close to each other.
- Safe for HIV
(unless vaginal fluid enters the other vagina) - Unsafe for STIs!
Risk of hepatitis B, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes, and scabies. - Safe for pregnancy
Contact between penis and penis
What are you doing?
Rubbing your penises against each other or your penises are very close to each other.
- Safe for HIV
(unless pre-cum or semen enter the urethra) - Unsafe for STIs!
Risk of hepatitis B, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes, and scabies.
Having penetrative sex
What are you doing?
- Unsafe for HIV !
- Unsafe for STIs !
High risk of gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, trichomoniasis, genital herpes, genital warts, hepatitis B, scabies and pubic lice. - Unsafe for pregnancy !
Cunnilingus, oral sex, licking
What are you doing?
Stimulating the vagina and clitoris with your mouth and tongue.
- Safe for HIV
(unless the person being licked has her period) - Unsafe for STIs !
Even without your period. Risk of hepatitis B, syphilis, genital herpes, pubic lice (if there’s a beard) and scabies. - Safe for pregnancy
Giving head, fellatio, oral sex
What are you doing?
Stimulating the penis with your mouth and tongue.
- Safe for HIV
(if you don’t come in the other person’s mouth, which is unsafe for them) - Unsafe for STIs !
Risk of syphilis, genital herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea. - Safe for pregnancy
Anal sex, anal intercourse
What are you doing?
Penetrating the other person’s anus with your penis.
- Unsafe for HIV!
- Unsafe for STIs!
High risk of hepatitis B, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes, scabies, and pubic lice. - Generally safe for pregnancy
But if the semen drips from the anus into the vagina, you could get pregnant.
Rimming, oral-anal sex
What are you doing?
Stimulating the anus with your mouth and tongue.
- Safe for HIV
(unless there’s any blood caused by anal sex or hemorrhoids) - Unsafe for STIs
Risk of gonorrhea, syphilis and hepatitis A. - Safe for pregnancy
Withdrawal method, coitus interruptus, pulling out
What are you doing?
Withdrawing the penis from the vagina just before ejaculation.
- Unsafe for HIV !
- Unsafe for STIs !
High risk of gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, trichomoniasis, genital herpes, genital warts, hepatitis B, scabies and pubic lice. - Unsafe for pregnancy
Using sex toys
What are you doing?
Using sex toys such as dildos and vibrators to sexually thrill or satisfy yourself and/or your partner.
- Safe for HIV
- Safe for STIs
- Safe for pregnancy
Safe, if you use your own sex toys or clean them well when you change partners. You can also use a condom on the toy but put on a new one if you use the toy with another partner.
Apart from all the types of sex described above, there are lots of other ways to have sex. We obviously can’t cover every possible variation here. But the same applies to all sexual contact: there is a risk of STIs, including HIV infection, if semen, vaginal fluid, or blood from one partner comes into contact with the mucous membrane of the other partner.