Sex and the internet

Sex and the internet often go together: you watch porn or you meet someone online. You use WhatsApp to send photos of yourself or you have webcam sex.

In principle, there’s nothing wrong with any of this, but how do you keep it fun and stay safe?

This is how to keep it safe

Flirting and dating online can be fun and exciting, but there are risks. There are, for example, child molesters operating online: groomers. They pretend to be someone around your age, whereas you are actually chatting to an adult man.

If you want online flirting and dating to be carefree, pay attention to the following:

  • Don’t become friends on social media with people you don’t know.
  • Make sure you don’t allow strangers to see your social media profile and photos. You can customize this in the privacy settings.
  • Never give your address or telephone number before you are absolutely sure someone is who he/she claims to be.
  • If you think someone is acting suspiciously online, and you think they might be a groomer or a faker, break off contact with them and talk to someone you trust.

Are you planning to try online dating? These are tips to keep you safe:

  • Don’t promise anyone anything before you meet them face to face. Don’t agree in advance that you’re going to kiss.
  • Make sure that someone who knows you well, for instance your parents or your best friend, knows that you have made an online date and where you’ve arranged to meet up.
  • Take your mobile phone and your charger with you. That way you can text or call your friends or parents if the date goes wrong.
  • Arrange to meet in a public place where there are lots of people.
  • Arrange to have someone call you during the date. If it’s not going the way you’d like, you can let yourself be called away. Emergency, sorry!

My sext was posted on their story on Instagram.”

Shensea, 18 years old.

Once I found out via a mutual friend that the person I shared a sext with posted it on their story on Instagram, It happened after a personal incident that got out of hand. At first, I was shocked that this was happening. Afterwards, I was angry and disappointed. I never shared the full experience with anyone although others heard a few rumors about the experience.

“It made me cautious and thinking more about the reputation of my family’s and my own name.”

Things have changed. This incident made me very cautious in who I send sexts to and what I send to them. I used to be freer and more open. Now I think about my parents’ and family’s status and reputation and my own name in the community. I am a lot more responsible and accountable for my actions. I would recommend others to start building it up slowly. Start with showing just a little skin then you can build it up.