In love with a transgender person

Are you in love with someone who is transgender? That may take some getting used to. The person you’ve fallen in love with looks different on the outside to what he or she feels inside. Or perhaps parts of their body are not what you would expect. It can be very confusing for you! But you’re not the only one.

9 tips


Take your partner seriously

Understand that your partner didn’t get to this point without a reason. It won’t just go away.


Seek information

Seek information about transgender, gender dysphoria or gender incongruence so you can understand what it’s about.


Talk to each other

 Ask questions. If you’re not sure your partner will answer your questions, say in advance that you understand that.


Talk to friends

Don’t just talk to each other, talk to someone else who you trust. That makes it easier to find out what you feel yourself.


Don’t keep it a secret

Maybe your partner would prefer to keep it a secret, but it’s too big a secret to carry around on your own. Decide together who does and doesn’t need to know.


It’s ok to be confused

It’s understandable that you’re confused and it’s perfectly OK. After a while, you’ll probably feel less confused anyway, as you get to know each other better.


It’s ok to break up

Do you find it too complicated in the end, or don’t you like the other person as much as you thought? That’s OK. You can break up, if necessary.


Be respectful

Whatever you do, always be respectful towards the other person! Even when you’re unsure of yourself, or afraid that your friends will think it’s weird.


Look for others

Are you going steady, and you want to get in touch with other young people who are in a relationship with someone who is transgender? Or would you like to talk to trusted professional like a doctor or nurse about it? You can! They can also refer you to someone more specialized who can help with processing these feelings.