What do you want?
What do you want to do when making love? And what would you prefer not to do? Everyone has his or her own boundaries and desires. Are you not quite sure yet? No problem! You’ll find out over time.
Does it feel good?
Kissing, caressing, making love… Whatever you do, the first things to ask are: Does it feel good? Do you like it? Is it turning you on? Then just carry on. If it feels good, that’s fine. If you don’t like the way your partner is touching you, there’s only one solution, tell them.
What does your partner want?
Do you know what your partner likes? Sometimes you can tell – you sense it or see it. But sometimes you can’t. Not sure? Then ask. That’s the way to find out how to have good sex with each other.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to. Say ‘No’ or ‘Stop’, so that your partner knows you don’t want it. You quite often discover the things you don’t like while you’re having sex. If that happens, stop making love and talk to each other about it.
Want to kiss but don’t have sex?
It’s perfectly normal to not feel like doing something. Perhaps you are in a relationship, but you don’t feel like having sex. Or you do want to kiss and caress but are not in the mood for penetrative sex. Be clear about what you want. Talk to each other about it. Your partner needs to respect this and should not put pressure on you just to get their way.
Use your imagination
Almost everyone has fantasies about love and sex. It’s great to fantasize. And sometimes you want to try out your fantasies. That’s another way of finding out what turns you on.