“My sext was posted on their story on Instagram.”
Lina, 19 years old.
Once I found out via a mutual friend that the person I shared a sext with posted it on their story on Instagram, It happened after a personal incident that got out of hand. At first, I was shocked that this was happening. Afterwards, I was angry and disappointed. I never shared the full experience with anyone although others heard a few rumors about the experience.
“It made me cautious and thinking more about the reputation of my family’s and my own name.”
Things have changed. This incident made me very cautious in who I send sexts to and what I send to them. I used to be freer and more open. Now I think about my parents’ and family’s status and reputation and my own name in the community. I am a lot more responsible and accountable for my actions. I would recommend others to start building it up slowly. Start with showing just a little skin then you can build it up.
“When the other one would resist, sex wouldn’t be an option me.”
Jimmy, 21 years old
I never experienced resistance against condom use but if this happens, sex wouldn’t be an option for me. Why would you want to have sex without thinking about all the consequences? If you’re not mature enough to get or use a condom you’re not mature enough to have sex.
“Coming out would feel a weight coming off my shoulders. I would feel liberated.”
Lina, 19 years old.
Coming out on Saba is challenging. Even though the community tolerates homosexuality, they would not fully accept you as a member of the LGBTQ-community. People generally accept homosexual females more than males. They don’t like seeing feminine men. The community is biased, and macho based.
“They tolerate me who I am as long as the LGBTQ aspects stays far away from them.”
I believe my family from far away would support me better than my closest family. I’ve also got certain friends that respect and support me fully. I can express myself openly and be my authentic self around them. Others merely tolerate who I am as long as the LGBTQ aspect stays far away from them.
“The strongest part of me desires to come out”
A part of me would want to come out and not care about the consequences. Another part of me does not want to do it because of my religious family. I also want to avoid reactions and comments from the Christian community. But still the strongest part of me desires to come out. I know that I would feel a weight coming off my shoulders. I would feel liberated.
“I want to be an example to others, so they don’t have to be afraid of being themselves or coming out.”
I see myself being more open in the future and feeling less heavy while being further away from the pressures of my family and religion. I want to be an example to others, so they don’t have to be afraid of being themselves or to come out to their family and community. I want to use my experience to motivate and inspire others who are going through the same thing I went through.
“I rather they call my name to say I got an STI-test than to call my name saying I gave people something.”
Smith, 17 years old
I went for an STI-test recently. I was at risk because I was having sex with different people and wanted to know for sure I didn’t get or share anything. Why be naïve? It is important to know to keep others safe. I felt nervous and I thought that everyone might find out here on Saba. That it was all out there. But just do it, bro. It makes you more aware. And I rather they call my name to say I got a STI-test than to call my name saying I gave people something.
“Regardless of what you do, people will talk and judge anyway. Just do you, sis. Protect yourself, a whole world awaits!”
Chelsea, 16 years old
Why waste your money on a morning-after-pill if you can use the contraceptive pill instead covered by your health insurance? save that money you would use to buy morning after pill and order yourself something nice online. Then you also don’t have to buy a pregnancy test and stress out around the time you should have your period. Using contraceptives is for me the best way if you are having sex and don’t want to have children right now. And about people finding out. Regardless of what you do, people will talk and judge anyway. They will talk based on how they think you look or act. So basically, just do you, sis! This is about you, and no one else. Protect yourself, a whole world awaits!
“I would have liked to finish my degree first, have a well-paid job and my own home.”
Simone, 23 years old
I got pregnant when I was 18 years old. I had to grow up a bit faster. Having an early pregnancy gave me quite some stress. Had to put some educational aspects on hold, the job I was in paid poorly and my social life became non-existent. I also had to move out and live with in-laws. I did not have much of a voice in that household so that made decision making and communication a lot harder. I would have liked to finish my degree first, have a well-job and my own home. So, make sure you are using proper contraceptives if you are not prepared for it.